The Premonition of Death

Posted by Soumya Mukherjee at 10:42 AM

This post is featured in Blogadda's Tangy Tuesday Picks (Dec-3, 2013). Check out the whole list here.

I am going to die. Soon.

I was brought to this world by my mother who had high hopes for me. She put in all her effort, those sleepless nights, to make sure that I turn out to be a memorable entity. My father,her husband,  whom she used to call her true inspiration, always stood by her,  sensing her needs that she expected of him, whenever she was stuck with me not being the way she wanted me to be . My father would look into my problem , try to re-read my state of being, and while being in his usual friendly self - a different set of watchful  eyes- he would help me out with my shortcomings. Both of them brought me up well. Slowly, but steadily, there came the day when I was ready to face the world.

My moment came when I was exploring, and allowing people to explore me- my psyche, and how I functioned. Some thought I was too smart for them, some thought I was 'unfitting', and then came a group of individuals who started being with me. They approved of me, and I would approve of them. They introduced me to more people who would like my company, and enjoy hanging out with me. They shared their opinions,  and I would love to listen to them in silence. They would look up to me as a genuine buddy, that responsible friend who will always  ensure that they are taken down the right path even if they drifted away. I was happy. Life was good. It was difficult at first, but it was rewarding.
Then I met her. I realized I needed someone who would listen to me as well. And we hit it off instantly. She was charming, dynamic, beautiful, and caring. She was amazing , the way she would read my mind like no other person had done so far. She liked me even though I had my fair share of faults. Soon we were in love. And soon enough, as more and more people began to notice me in different walks of my life, I started becoming more successful in my life, and she was always there for me. I was making my parents proud. They were widely being recognised because they gifted me to the world. I couldn't thank God the way they were now being repaid for their efforts and the days of struggle and rejection they had seen while raising me. I was happy , the world looked happier, and the people around me looked the happiest.

I am the best-selling fiction novel of the past decade. And how I know I am going to die soon?

They announced last night that they are turning me into a major motion picture.

Time Travel to Childhood

Posted by Soumya Mukherjee at 9:21 PM

What if, we could time-travel to our childhood days?

Last night, I had a dream that I was granted a wish-  to be able go back to my childhood days. And I have been thinking ever since - What would I do if I could go back to that time? Would I fix certain things? Would I change a few things to make my life better?

And I have found my answer.

Nah. I would do neither of these.

My childhood was great in its own way. That growing up with the Potter books and countless mystery books, that playing of 8-bit games on TV and almost tearing off the cords of my console while trying to make Mario jump over a ditch, that coming back hone with unfinished lunch in my lunchbox and getting chided for the same, that reading of all the stories of the Hindi and  English  textbooks at the beginning of the session, that playing cricket for long hours under the scorching sun,  that collection of pokemon cards, collection of tazos- getting punished by the teacher if she found us playing pokemon  card games during the class, all of them, such good memories. I can add so many of these small but awesome things of my childhood but the most important part is that, it was awesome, in its own way.

So what if I could not always get what I wanted, so what if that teacher in 4th grade was partial to the other kid in class and gave him better grades than me, so what if I fought with a good friend of mine and we did not talk for 4 days after that, till we were ultimately made to take part in a 3-leg race (two of our legs would be tied) and we ended up tied at the first place, so what if I had so many embarrassing moments in front of my teachers, some strangers, girls, friends, etc, so what if I couldn't achieve many things that were expected of me.

I  realized, as I kept on thinking, that if only I knew as a child, that life is going to be so difficult and dynamic when I grow up, then perhaps I would have enjoyed my childhood even more.

And so, that is the only thing that I might do if I get a chance to time-travel to my childhood days- to tell the 9-year old myself to make the most of this life that he is living.

Pizzas and Side-Orders!

Posted by Soumya Mukherjee at 12:46 PM

We all are pizza lovers. Except for a few who 'claim' not to be (but I can bet their asses that they too eat pizza secretly) , we just love pizzas. We enjoy having a session of discussion over a pan of pizza.We enjoy watching a movie while a hot box of sizzling pizza is delivered at our doorstep. And it gets better if someone else is paying the bill. The best thing about a pizza is that a pizza loves you back. The cheesy perfection entangling with the chunky satisfaction- that's pure love man, pure and eternal love.

 

"I am so gooey. Eat me, eat me!"

Anyway, the purpose of this post is to share with you a small anecdote that I experienced , and I am sure you all experience at all sorts of  pizza outlets, when you try to do something like this:

You place a side-order, that is not a pizza.

Now by side-order ,what I mean is that it could be a cake, a can of coke, or just a plain simple pack of garlic bread. But the order would amount to somewhere around 100-150 bucks usually.

The other day,  when I was getting home from work, I stopped by the local food-court. Yeah food-courts are available locally here. I was hungry but I remembered that I have some food cooked and stored at home. So I thought of taking a box of Taco Indiana (God bless the Mexicans) from a pizza outlet Mommyknows (disclaimer: any similarity of the name to any brand in real is just a mere coincidence and a figment of your imagination). And so , this is the conversation with the guy at the billing counter that followed:

"Hello Sir, would you like to place an order?"

No you blithering idiot I am just here for the view. "Of course!"

"Great! Let me take you through today's special combos we have Sir. blah blah blah--"

"Hmm."

"..blah blah--"

"Hmm Hmm."

"..and , blah."

"Okay."

"So would you like to try one of these, Sir?"

"Err no, I would just want one Taco Indiana."

At this point, the counter guy looked up to me in a strange way.

"Anything else, Sir?"

"No thanks, this will do."

The guy kept batting his eyes and continued to stare at me in anticipation, a look mixed with apathy , angst and all those related a- words.

"Are you sure, Sir?"

"Yeah yeah."

"Would you like to order a pan pizza with this , Sir?"

"Err no that would be all."

He continued to fish. "We have this amazing offer Sir. If you take one medium pizza with this , you get a--"

"Nah not hungry really. Thanks. Could you please take the order?"

"Sure Sir."

*22 seconds later*

"Any soft-drinks , Sir? A coke, maybe?"

"No thanks, how much time will it take?"

The guy kept looking at me as if I have snatched his newly-bought smartphone and smashed it to the ground.

"A few minutes , Sir. "

*15 minutes later*

"Bill amount Rs 130, Sir."

"Thank you. Here you go."

I begin to take out the cash when he suddenly looks up.

"Would you like a carry-bag Sir?"

"No, I can take it in my backpack, thanks."

"Sir we have eco-friendly bags, just 5 rupees extra."

"Dude why the hell would I want to pay for a carry bag when I don't need one?!"

"Sir please calm down."

"Just give me my goddamn Taco and I will move!"

By this time, my appetite was dead. 

"Thank you Sir. Here you go."

He hands me the box. I begin to go towards the gate when he calls out:

"Sir your mobile number?"

"@#$^$#^#$$#$#$#!@@&*%!!!!!"