Sunday, October 28, 2012

Rambler's Visit To The Dentistry

Posted by at 12:09 PM

That's what happened to me , three weeks back. It was the week before the Durga Puja festival, the time of the year where bongs indulge in gluttony with pride and valor. And here I was, standing with a huge cavity on my 3rd molar , thanks to that extra serving of Chicken Tandoori that fateful Friday night, as in midst of all the left-overs, stood a shining white piece of my tooth-etched off and free-useless for eternity.

*Cut to the Puja week*

I was grumpy. I was cribbing.I had a sore tooth, looking enviously at my cousins while they would gorge on to those humongous piece of delicacies of all kinds- it is the time of the year when the Goddess brings down the best possible appetite in all the human forms, and here I was, standing, eating soft, easy-to-eat "eatables" that even a 70 year old would despise. And yes, even my grandpa was pointing towards me and laughing. "The generation of today!! Hahah!" he said while sinfully treating himself to the heavenly taste of Chicken Rolls.

So that was pretty much how I spent my festival this year. My tooth on the right side was doing a two-man job, and I was wailing on, attending to my injured soldier that was once a fearless warrior. It was all messed up in my mouth.

*Cut to the present, the week after the festival*

I decided to take a detour to the dentist before getting myself a pair of new earphones. Not that I needed them but you know, everyone in the college was getting new mobiles after they got placed, so I thought, might as well buy some new gadget to suffice my thirst!

I reached the dentistry, one hour behind my appointment. The woman at the clinic counter gave a stern look and declared, "you'll have to wait." Fair enough, I thought.

After 20 minutes, I was asked to enter the chamber. The doc had a look of satisfaction as he came out treating the previous patient. Here I would like to cut in that 300 bucks were taken away from me as consultation charge before I entered. (I will add up all the expense later)

I was asked to lie down on that green, reclined 'couch'. The surrounding was 'clinical'. Gadgets, gadgets all around! The fun part about a dentistry is that all the gadgets remind you of your childhood- water spraying guns, saliva- sucking guns, guns and guns everywhere. Then there was a gun that would cut  away your tooth , smoothen it to the required shape. Yes I was enjoying. Not.

"How is it like? Does it hurt?" the doc asked.
"Only when I eat." I replied.
"Is it hurting right now?"
"Erm, no."
"Of course, you are 'eating' the air but then it's okay" he snorted.
"Ohh hehahah you have a great sense of hammer, doc, ouch!" I tried to hide my sarcasm.
"Well does it happen that you wake up at nights, startled, because of the pain?"
"No never."
"You sure? Like they show in those horror movies?"
"I hate horror movies doc, but I get the drift." I was hating this chit-chat session already.
"Get the what? Ohkay ohkay kidding, let's start off. I will have to take an X-Ray of your 3rd molar first" he concluded the 'loosen-up' conversation there.

After the X-Ray was taken , he showed me that a huge cavity had formed, near the root, and that's why it will be crucial that I underwent some sort of capping and then filling, else in future  I might have to undergo root-canal operation."What the fudge?! When did my tooth decay to that extent?" I wondered, as the doc prepared for his work.

He slowly scraped off the decayed part of my tooth. It hurt a bit but when my tongue went to explore the site, it found that a neat big crater was dug up.
A hot nurse was busy sucking the saliva out of my mouth-yes exactly how you are picturing it in your head- she used a suction device with a small nozzle tip. I lay there, mouth wide open, with an impulsive "aaaaaaaaaaa" voice ringing in my head.  

The next 20 minutes was utilized in filling the tooth up skillfully and the finishing touch was given after which I was asked to clench my jaws. "How do you feel?" he asked. "Great doctor, thanks!" I smiled. hehehehhahahahahah FOOODDDDD, IMMA GONNA EAT YOU UP BAYBEHH!!!!!!!

So when I came out of the chamber after getting some meds prescribed, the lady at the counter asked me to hand over the folder that contained the prescription etc. Upon giving, she attached a bill at the top of the prescription:

150 for the X-Ray.

950 for the filling.

400 for the capping.

300 consultation ch.

All in all, my tooth burnt a cavity worth 1800 bucks in my wallet. I had initally planned to get a pair of Skullcandy earphones, but I had to suffice with Sony. "Close enough" I consoled myself, as my tongue kept on exploring the filling in order to get accustomed to the new member of the yellow family.

F#$K my tooth.

Here is a viral video "David Goes To Dentist" . Watch it, you will like it. And it fits the context well. 

P.S.: The moral of this post is- brush your teeth well, people, lest you will end up making a dentist, filthy rich. And yes, date dentist docs.

P.P.S.: I know that "hot assistant  was busy sucking the saliva out of my mouth" part made you read and think twice. *ghegheghe*

Monday, October 15, 2012

Run Nosey Run!

Posted by at 8:46 PM

O gravity, I bow to thee,
I acknowledge your power, please spare me.
But why would you  listen,you son-of-a-gun!
As my nose keeps running, run nosey run!

I am a shooter, using my nose,
I spray liquid, so quickly I dispose!
I keep shooting, can this be undone?
As my nose keeps running, run nosey run!

Desperately I pop pills, because I am a fool,
"This is a conspiracy!"I wonder,as I lay on a mucus pool,
They haunt me,those scoops of ice-cream,I had under the sun,
As my nose keeps running,run nosey run!

I am reminded,of my childhood days,
When I would swear "I would be a good boy, come what may,
I won't  drink too much of cold water or have too much of ice-cream,
Don't take me to the doctor, lest I would scream!
Please don't scold me any further, Mother,I will be a good son"
As my nose keeps running, run nosey run!

And finally:

Inspired from the movie "Forrest Gump"
which had the famous quote, "Run Forrest Run",
as I fail to understand, if there was any pun,
My nose keeps running, run nosey run!


Thursday, October 11, 2012

Not a Review: The Dark Knight Rises

Posted by at 11:10 AM

An old post which I wrote when I came back from watching TDKR. Well, I did not quite feel like publishing it then... but I do want you to read this, as I had promised some of you right?
So here we go!

I will start in reverse mode:

-Climax: Yes it was epic. Yes it was fun. Yes it gave goosebumps.
It was abrupt.

Bane died a street thug's death.

Cottilard getting a Bollywoodish treatment on her story-telling while she recited her story, thus delaying the detonation and 'gifting' Gordon time to plant the device that stopped the trigger action.

The editor was in a hurry. Classic example of ants in pants. How Bruce saved his ass is a question that was to be answered more than with just a mere 'fixing the auto-pilot mode with a software patch' dash.

Why did Batman not deal with the Gothamite the way he did eventually, a little earlier? He had the resources to do just the same a lot earlier.

-Story-telling: To question Nolan on that segment will be blasphemy, yes I know
Did he himself not raise the bar with The Dark Knight? 

So, where was the detailing and the patience? Where? He did not let the crucial scenes grow in our mind. 

As a fanboy of his movies, there were many things that were superb, but as a critic, the only thing that was 'whoa-that-is-frigging-awesome!!' was: The Bat.  It splashed on the screen so many times. It was overused. Simple as that.

-The mood was dark. IMAX scenes did their trick, the apathy was visible,
Where is the tension? When Bane breaks Batman's back, the hopelessness should captivate the viewers' senses. 

But before we could even think of popping our eyes out just because of the premonition of what is about to happen, Batman was cured, back on his feet and was found doing push-ups soon. 

In the end, I will only say that Batman series could not have gotten a better movie trilogy than what Nolan gave us, and yes, I would easily give the movie a 9 out of 10 and I must admit that the movie exceeded my  expectations, but as the plot opened, it subjected itself to such questions which makes the movie somewhat a 'reachable' one and proves that quote right:

Attainment of perfection makes things fall flat at times.

You are correct, that quote was given by none other than me.

And I will go and watch the movie again in theaters. Why , can you not critique a movie and be a fanboy at the same time? Because that would be perhaps, Christopher Nolan's greatest success that I would concur, very few filmmakers of our time enjoy.

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